Wandering Alpha Bear

Rice. You’re Doing it Wrong

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So, this is very similar to another post on Japanese Rule of 7  http://japaneseruleof7.com/how-to-make-rice

(Go check the article out and his awesome website)

Although I thought I could simplify it a bit for those lax people out there.

Step 1: Grab a nearby beer, if no beer, hard liquor because this is going to be, wait for it, a freakin’ difficult process.

Step 2: If you haven’t already, buy some damn rice ya idiot. Who makes rice without the rice!?! Sailors just don’t sail without an ocean, so go grab you some rice.

Step 3: Waste a couple of hours on amazon looking for that shiny rice mak-, ooh look they have a new useless product I don’t need but will buy anyways! Now, uh where were we? Yeah, get one of those fancy rice things and get prime shipping so you don’t have to starve for too long because obviously you don’t know how to make anything else.

Step 4: Throw the whole bag in the rice maker, then yell at the Japanese god for cursing you with double eyelids. If you had mono-lids, this would be easy.

Step 5: Pour the amount of water you are demanded by the Japanese god to, as he guides you in your Asian adventures.

BAM, you’re done. Push a few dangly, magic buttons and you have rice to feed the Japanese god for his sacrifice to listen to your sad excuse of not knowing how to cook rice.

Many doors have been opened now that you know this one simple thing, cook away my minions, cook away!

~Noah (^~^)v

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